Everything began with my own stubbornness. I resisted making a change in my life that was necessary for personal healing. I was intellectually aware that my lifestyle at the time was not right; however, I did not pay enough attention to my lived experiences and instead kept my eyes continuously closed. I neglected the physical and mental states that were warning me that I needed to change something. It was necessary for me to go through the experience of a serious illness that pushed me to realize the truth—an experience that jolted me awake from sleep, an experience that led me to make the necessary change in my life. It was a turning point in my life, the moment when I decided to change how I treated my own body. Deep inside, I knew that there was no external remedy, but that the remedy lies within each of us. This truth was the fundamental driving force that kept me on the path of discovering dry fasting. The truth that there is no external remedy arose from my own inner core.
The path I went through up to the moment of change was certainly not useless. The experiences I lived accumulated within me until a critical mass was formed that led me to change. My current level of understanding of my surroundings stems from all those experiences. Mistakes are normal, because without mistakes it is impossible to know what is right. Human nature is exploratory. Without experience, a person cannot know.
The turning point after which I decided to embark on the path of discovering dry fasting was a visit to the dentist. I received three or four anesthetic injections due to pain so that my tooth could be “repaired.” After that dental visit, my immune system was disrupted. For three days I could not get out of bed. My flora and fauna were disturbed, and my tongue turned white. I did not know what was happening to me, but I was absolutely certain that I would no longer go to a doctor, because I knew that no doctor could help me. I knew that the doctor was within me and that only through my own strength could I return to an optimal state. I was in an extremely difficult condition. I knew that recovery from that state would be long and arduous, because it was a matter of accumulated karma. My flora and fauna were disrupted, and correcting this was not possible with any short-term method or medication.
Before the turning point, I regularly entered states of energy loss, throat inflammation, sinus issues, high fever, and similar conditions. I was in a state of excessive food intake. For lunch, I would sometimes eat several portions of appetizers, soup, a main course, and dessert. An average person needs one portion, but I was stuffing myself with enormous amounts of food and convincing myself that it was good. In general, I was in poor physical and mental condition. As a child, I had appendicitis and meningitis. The turning point simply had to happen, because my laziness and blindness were strong. In order to see clearly, an equally strong moment was needed to knock me out of my orbit.
On several occasions I had merely heard about fasting, and deep inside I felt that it was the technique I needed to apply for my own healing. I began my first short-term fast of three days without knowing anything about it—that is, without any external information—relying solely on my intuition. I also began my first long dry fast without the help of another person, gathering information from various sources and from my own experience during the dry fasting process itself. Altogether, I have so far gone through three long dry fasts and about ten short dry fasts lasting three to four days. My first long fast was marked by various states that I went through. Here is what my first long dry fast of eight days looked like, which I began on October 29, 2013.
Day 1
It is Tuesday, a working day. I woke up at 7:00 a.m., ate a spoonful of aloe with honey, and after that I did not take anything else into my body for the next eight days. These were the final spasms of my own belief that quick healing is possible without working on the root cause of the problem. Short-term and quick methods can help a person feel better temporarily; however, complete healing is not possible as long as the body is full of toxins and impurities.
During that morning, I felt fear of all the diseases that I might potentially have, because I had various symptoms that pointed to different illnesses. Despite the fear, I felt determined. In the early evening, I took a shower, but I did not drink water. Although dry fasting implies no contact with water whatsoever, this was my first experience, and at that time I did not yet know what awaited me or what dry fasting truly meant. After showering, I felt stronger physical hunger. This was the first hunger I felt, and I knew I had to go through it, although at that time I did not know what lay on the other side once hunger passed. At 9:20 p.m., I went for a long walk of several kilometers around Jarun. During the walk, I meditated, and the hunger disappeared. I went to sleep around 11:00 p.m.
Day 2
I woke up at 7:00 a.m. I do not feel hunger or thirst. An hour later, I felt light, flexible, and healthy. During the day, I felt relatively well physically, but mentally exhausted from work. In the early evening, I went to the sauna to accelerate the process of cleansing the body. Before going to sleep, I felt hunger.
Day 3
I spent the entire day at work. After work, I went for a walk around Jarun so that my body could get oxygen. After the walk, I went to sleep.
Day 4
I began urinating yellow urine and releasing gases. I spent the entire day at Jarun sunbathing. I felt phenomenal and did not feel hunger, but I felt strong thirst. My mouth began to dry out, and my lips started peeling. On this day, I began rubbing my tongue with a toothbrush, but dry. In the evening, I walked around Jarun, after which I felt stronger fatigue than I had felt until then.
Day 5
On the fifth day, my mouth became very dry. My lips continued to peel. In the morning, I felt hunger, but it soon disappeared. Instead of walking around Jarun, I walked to the market to buy fruit and vegetables so I would have them ready in case I decided to eat. When I returned, I felt stronger fatigue. In the late morning, I felt digestive activity. I began burping, releasing gases, and urinating intensely yellow urine. In the afternoon, I felt good—not hungry, only my intestines were active.
I feel light. In the first few days, I lost weight rapidly; however, now I am losing weight at a slower rate, because the body has begun to manage its reserves more economically. At the end of the day, I went for another walk. My stomach is working more intensely, and my mouth has become even drier. I felt that the body had begun expelling something, because my mouth was full of pus. Before going to sleep, I poured urine over my legs.
Day 6
I woke up with much drier mouth. There is no hunger. After waking up, I urinated again a fairly yellow urine, which I poured over my feet. My stomach is still processing something. In the morning, I scraped the white tongue. The white coating on the tongue is no longer present as it was at the beginning. I went to get spring water to have it ready for the end of the fast. During the day, my mouth became even drier. Noon passed, and the body is still breaking something down.
I realized that dryness of the mouth has nothing to do with the body’s thirst. The mouth dries because of the air, and the body itself will say when it is thirsty.
I stopped losing weight intensively. Today, wearing a jacket and sweatpants, I weigh 77.8 kg, and I started the fast at 87 kg. Toward the end of the day, I felt fear and heart palpitations in my abdomen. In the evening, I urinated again.
Day 7
In the morning, I woke up and urinated as on previous days—about 2–3 dl. The fear from the previous day disappeared, and I feel good. My tongue is still white, and I have the feeling that various microorganisms are fleeing even more and accumulating on the tongue where they have contact with oxygen from the outside. The stomach and intestines are still active. I am releasing gases slightly more strongly than in previous days. My mouth is less dry than on previous days. I keep my mouth closed to reduce access to oxygen, and in this way I also maintain moisture in my mouth.
In the morning, I felt hunger, but it passed. Later, a headache appeared. I lost a bit more weight and now weigh 75.2 kg. As yesterday, so today I have light burping. In the evening, I urinated once more.
Day 8
During the previous night, I felt unwell. In the morning, I felt hunger that did not stop. After morning urination, I felt better and began to eat. I cleaned my mouth with diluted lemon juice, disinfected my mouth with bread and white garlic (clove). I drank lemonade. I took a shower to feel better, and after the shower, a brief pain passed through my back. I think it was some kind of release. After drinking the lemonade, mucus began to accumulate at the bottom of my throat, so I spat it out. I brushed my teeth with toothpaste and cleaned my tongue, after which I began spitting blood.
During my first experience, I did not have time to write detailed impressions, since I began fasting without information about it. During the fast, I was focused on my body and mental states, as well as on researching various literature that was available on the Internet. At the end of my first long fast, I felt excellent, although I knew it was not the end. The entire process was extremely intense and full of various experiences that I encountered for the first time. At that time, I still did not know what dry fasting actually was, what processes take place in the body during the procedure, nor did I know how I would recognize that the dry fasting process was finished. I only knew that I needed to feel “wolf hunger,” but again, due to everyday laziness, I had lost the concept of hunger. People in the environment in which I live eat continuously—three times a day and more—so the experience of hunger and what hunger actually is has disappeared. There are, of course, countries where hunger is pronounced; however, those people do not consciously direct attention to hunger itself—it is about survival and manipulation. Here, it is about dry fasting and the conscious directing of attention to hunger and its consequences.
Damir Butković